Ditty With The Dog
by A Pathological Writer
Summary: Spike talks to Ein because he knows dogs can't talk back.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop. Nor would I think myself deserving of it.**

**This story's going to be entirely dialogue because really, talking to a dog's not going to require much ****description.**

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><p><span><strong>Hidden Session XX: A Ditty With the Dog<strong>

Get down! No dogs on the couch. Hey, I mean it. I know you can hear me, Ein. No, not the puppy eyes. You know I don't like it when you do that. And this is why I hate animals…okay, you can stay there. Just scooch over a bit. Or better, we can do it this way. There, you like that, don't you? Happy? You better be. Now my shirt smells. Settle down. We got the whole place to ourselves buddy. Let's enjoy it while it lasts…

…You know, they say dogs are a man's best friend, Ein. Are you my friend? You are? I'm glad to hear it. Listen, there are a few things I want to get off my chest since everyone is out right now except for us two, and I'd appreciate it if you don't tell anyone what I say, alright boy?

Ah but speaking of friends…I had a friend once. His name was Vicious. Strange name, don't you think? It's not his real name, to be frank. There's a story that goes with it. It was this one time down at a bar. Some guys were causing a ruckus and…***Ein yawns***…this…well…it's not really that important. But anyway, after what happened there, it sort of just stuck. He couldn't be anything more than what I saw him then. Vicious.

Why we stopped being friends, boy? Oh…well…there was this girl. Her name was Julia. You know her? No of course you don't. Well, see, Vicious and I both liked her. We liked her very much, but she could only like one of us back, and we each wanted to be that one and so…mistakes were made, and I chose her over him. Yes…she was that special, Ein. She owned a flower store, sang better than someone else I know around here and she was…really beautiful. You'd of liked her. She likes animals. She used to own this stray cat. I never got its name. Grumpy thing. It always glared at me when I came up. But it adored Julia. I used to tell her that thing looked ready to scratch out my eyes. She told me it was just jealous.

I remember we used to sometimes go to the park together. We'd feed pigeons with some crumbs of bread, and we'd talk till it got dark. Just the two of us. Sounds boring doesn't it? But I didn't mind it at the time. Just being with her, the days seemed to just…pass…like a dream.

Where's Julia now, you say? Oh…I honestly don't have a clue. She left me and Vicious. Maybe I'll find her one day…ask her why she didn't come. I don't know. I still have a photo of her. Can't seem to get rid of it. There was this one time I was just holding it, and I...no matter how hard I wanted to, I couldn't rip it apart. I don't know anymore…

Man I'm starving. I hope it's not bell peppers and beef for dinner again. Special my ass…we always forget the beef...why we don't just call it bell peppers is beyond me…Ein, what do you think dog meat tastes like? Don't look at me like that. It was a joke. I wouldn't really think of eating you…Jet's cooking's bad enough as it is.

How did I and Jet meet? Maybe I'll tell you that someday. It's a long yarn. We'd be up all night. It's strange if you think about it. A former lawman and a runaway gangster as partners? We make the perfect foils for each other. I'm smiling right now, am I Ein? It's funny. We both came from opposite sides, and we just happened to meet in the middle, castaways from our individual worlds, people wanting to forget their pasts. Don't ever tell him this, Ein, but I consider him like the older brother I never had, the kind of guy I wished I had to watch out for me when I was younger, back before I ever picked up a gun…

Now if only the food wouldn't taste so bad.

Get Faye to cook? Ein, I wouldn't trust that minx anywhere near a stove, let alone a microwave. Edward? Wait, Edward's a girl? Right…I think it's better if she sticks to her computer. She'd probably bring down the ship. Me? I don't know the first thing about cooking. Believe me, I tried.

Julia knew how to cook. Sometimes when I visited her with Vicious, she invited her us to stay for dinner. Just the three of us…we sit and eat and wouldn't really talk that much at all…I miss her Ein. I really do. Just thinking about it…nevermind…I like talking to you Ein. It's been a while since I talked to anyone like this. We should do this more often. I still hate you though…

…My last cigarette…I hope Faye has a spare packet somewhere. Ein, would you mind getting my lighter? It's on the table…forget it. I'll get it myself. Lazy mutt and here I thought you were my friend. Friends should always give each other a light.

**You know it's bad for you. Ever heard of cancer?**

Yeah Ein I…wait, did you just…no…it must have been my imagination. Yeah, that's it…too quiet around here. I must be dreaming. Let's see if Big Shot's got anything lined up for us tomorrow. Now where's that remote…Thanks Ein, what would I ever do without you.

***Ein barks in answer***

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><p><em> ...Share the weight, cowboy.<em>

_ ...Fin_

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><p>Jet: This is fanfiction for crying out loud. I just don't see the point.<p>

Faye: Stop your grumbling and pass me the script. Wait…this is going to be in the next episode?

Jet: You're kidding.

Faye: The star that fell was not his star. The wolf wanders on the trail, lost to the world that has forsaken him.

Jet: I don't get it.

Faye: His coat dappled as white as snow, he languishes in Purgatory, waiting out the rest of his days searching for the door to Paradise.

Jet: Who wrote this anyway?

Faye: Next episode – The Dirge of The Beast. A tale of ennui. Don't expect it to make sense.

Jet: Probably won't come out.


End file.
